Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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