I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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