I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
