I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
