That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
