he puts the penis in happiness.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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