And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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