I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
