ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
