The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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