john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
