dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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