Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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