I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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