Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
