As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
