I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
