Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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