The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
