The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
