So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
