so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
