HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
