im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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