Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
