I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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