Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
