It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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