Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
even my farts smell like vagina
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
