I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
