don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
