Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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