Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
