I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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