I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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