i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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