forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
