awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Floor bacon is actually really good
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
