So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
