I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
