we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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