Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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