Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize