You're a womanizer and a bitch.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize