And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
