i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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