check it out our google latitudes are spooning
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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