Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize