I need help removing her.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
