i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
