I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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