If i come over, it means nothing
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The Olympian is in my bed
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
