i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize