i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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