You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
that may or may not have been my penis.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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