Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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