I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
