And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
