I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
