I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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