I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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