You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
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