Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
